"All Men Are Superficial" - Funny Short Story

A couple days ago, a girl was talking telling me that all men are superficial. "They're only looking for a pretty face!" She said. Trying to be funny, I replied, "That's not true. We also look at the body." She didn't laugh.

"I Need You Now" - Funny Short Story

Last night I was hosting open mic and performing at a local restaurant / bar. After my first set a woman walked up to me and said, in broken English, "I need you now". I thought I misheard her, so I asked her to say it again. Finally she wrote it on her phone the same words, and I was pretty surprised. Later that night, as I was leaving, she showed me another Google Translate message on her phone. It said, "'I Need You Now' is the name of a song".