"I Need You Now" - Funny Short Story

Last night I was hosting open mic and performing at a local restaurant / bar. After my first set a woman walked up to me and said, in broken English, "I need you now". I thought I misheard her, so I asked her to say it again. Finally she wrote it on her phone the same words, and I was pretty surprised. Later that night, as I was leaving, she showed me another Google Translate message on her phone. It said, "'I Need You Now' is the name of a song".

Funny Short Story - Google Translate Error!

In addition to teaching guitar and some basketball, I am also teaching some English in China right now. To keep the English lessons fun, I often buy new English kid's books from a local Chinese bookstore. While most of the books are very good, I've noticed not all of them use proper grammar all the time. In fact, I think some of them use Google Translate sometimes.

Last week, when reading a new book with a student, I realized I need to start "screening" kid's books. Basically the book was a funny kid's book about where to throw a booger. Yet in one line, the book called boogers "nose sh*t"! Unfortunately, my student ended up loving this book more than any other book, and her parents even asked me if she could borrow it!